All of ME Read online

  Jasmine

  Walking across the gym floor, I walk by Brandon and glance back over my shoulder. The defeated look on his face makes me want to run over and hold him close, but I can't. Leaving with Jeff is what's best for me. The past few months I have been slowly disconnecting myself from my best friend. I admit, it’s mostly for my benefit, but I hope it makes it easier on him when he finds out the truth. He will be the hardest to leave, more than my mother, more than anyone else. Jeff meets me at the front door and we leave for the after party. I can't focus, can't think. My heart isn't where it should be right now. All I can see when I close my eyes is the heartbreak deep in those stunning green eyes.

  "You okay, babe?"

  "Yeah, it’s just my nerves."

  "Okay," he says, his expression full of concern. "Is everything ready to go?"

  "I only have a few things left to pack; I didn't want it to be obvious." He kisses my forehead before placing his hand on the small of my back, guiding me into the house. The dim lights and loud music are welcome; the perfect cover for my emotional state, helping to clear my mind until I look to my left and see Brandon. His messy hair and thick dark lashes visible even in the absence of light. I sigh and turn to Jeff coaxing him to the other side of the room. I glance back one last time and notice he's gone.

  "What are you going to tell them?” he whispers into my ear.

  "Nothing; I'm not telling them anything." He nods and pulls me into him kissing the top of my head.

  "As long as we have each other, we'll be fine," he says.

  I nod and smile. "I better get home before I end up in a world of trouble, okay?" He nods, taking my hand and leading me to the car.

  When I get home, my mom is at the table, a bottle of whiskey in front of her. She looks up at me, her bloodshot eyes full of sadness. "Jasmine, I'm so proud of you," she says.

  "Thanks mom," I reply as she stands and pulls me into her embrace tightly. Her tears are now falling and saturating my shoulder. "I love you, mom," I whisper before heading to my room. Bracing myself on the dresser, I stare at the reflection of the tear soaked spot on my shirt. I can't help but cry myself. After a few minutes, I hear the front door slam open and hear my dad and mom arguing. The sound of his boots in the hallway make my skin crawl. His footsteps stop in front of my door and my door flings open.

  "So you think you are all grown now, do ya girl?” he slurs. I shake my head as the sound of his belt coming off echoes in my ears. The first lash is always the worst, after that, I kinda have an out of body experience.

  The tender skin of my back is screaming when he is done and I can't see through the tears. I sit on my bed and try to stop crying, and then I quickly gather the rest of my things and shove them in my book bag. A light knock on my door startles me. "Yeah?" I manage to croak.

  "Can I come in?” mom asks.

  I quickly shove my bag under the bed, "Sure."

  "I'm so sorry your daddy is the way he is. I've tried talking to him but it doesn't do any good." I only nod because I have no words to express everything I'm feeling. She leans down and hugs me before turning to leave. "He really does love you, I swear."

  I stare at the door after it closes, thinking about what she said. Rushing, I change from my pajamas and I sit on my bed one last time and want to cry, but I have no more tears. The clock on my dresser says one-fifteen. Forty-five minutes and my life will change.

  In those last minutes, I crack open my window and toss the suitcase out into the yard. Opening my door slowly, I listen carefully. There's an infomercial on the television and my father is probably passed out on the couch. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and pull on my coat. I creep down the hallway; pausing every few steps until I make it to the front door. I open it carefully and step out to my freedom. Quickly, I tuck the letter between the frame of the screen door and rush down the steps. I make my way around back, grab my suitcase, and run down my driveway. Turning onto the dirt road, I hear the rumble of Jeff's truck. He stops when he sees me and loads my suitcase into the back. I sit there quietly, staring forward, as tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.

  Jeff looks over at me and asks, "What happened after I left?"

  I sigh and reply, "Pull over and I’ll show you."

  He looks at me strangely but pulls the truck over. Turning my back to him, I undo my seatbelt. Pulling off my coat and lifting up the back of my shirt, I cringe as the fabric rubs against my tender skin. I look over my shoulder at the shocked expression on his face.

  "How long has this been going on?” he whispers.

  "Since Caleb died," I reply.

  "For the last eight years?” he asks in a strangled voice. I nod, unable to speak. "Why the hell didn't you say anything?” he asks, his voice filled with a rage I've never heard before.

  "I was afraid. I could see my mother slipping into depression and feel the rage my father had inside him growing. I was trying to be a constant; something positive. As it turns out, I became the punching bag.” Jeff turns me to face him and wipes my tears with his fingertips. "My father blamed my mother and she blamed him, and in the end, the hatred trickled down to me."

  He pulls me into him carefully and holds me softly. "It's over now, you will never have to deal with anything like that again," he says as he pulls away from me.

  I put my seatbelt back on and he puts the truck into drive. Looking back towards my past one last time I smile, knowing I'll never have to endure that fate again.

  Chapter Three: If Only

  "If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."- Fred Rogers

  Brandon

  After I found out that Jasmine had run away with Jeff, I found myself in downward spiral. I became the type of person I always said I wouldn't become. What I didn't realize was that these changes were for the better. College started in the fall and soon after, she began to fade from the forefront of my mind. She was always there, but I found comfort in other girls and a lifestyle often frowned upon. At the beginning of my sophomore year, she had become nothing more than a memory and I found myself in the arms of Carlie; a beautiful, vibrant woman who carried many of the physical attributes of Jasmine, but not the baggage. Carlie was beautiful and funny, her bright hazel eyes, dirty blonde hair, and sweet smile would make any boy feel certain emotions. What started as a physical attraction quickly turned into more, and by graduation, we had made plans to move in together. Once I was enlisted in the Navy, we were living in a small apartment, close to the hospital where she worked as a receptionist while going to nursing school. She stood by me at every turn. Soon after I finished my enlistment, we decided we wanted to move again. I always wanted to go back to my hometown. I sent my resume to the local hospital and within three weeks, we were packing our belongings into a moving truck and heading to the sunny Florida panhandle. We stayed with my parents for a couple of months while the apartment we had found was being finished. Working at the local hospital was great, and being back at home was even better.

  One night after work I decide to go down to a little bar down the street to have a beer and unwind. Carlie was out with her new-found friends for a ‘girl’s night out’. I was sitting at the bar, drinking my beer when I hear a familiar voice. "Brandon is that you?” he asks.

  I turn around and there's Josh. "Yeah, man, it's me," I reply.

  "How the hell are you?” he asks, holding his hand up for a fist bump.

  "I'm great, just got a job at the hospital and my girl is out with her friends."

  "It's so good to see you, man. It's been a long time," he says smacking me on the back.

  "Yes, it has. Grab a seat and have a beer with me," I say tipping my beer in his direction.

  "I'll have to take a raincheck on that," he replies, "I was on my way to see Michelle."

  "You son of a bitch, you're still with her?" I ask with a l
augh.

  "Yeah, sure am," he says with a wicked grin.

  "Well, I'm at the parents’ house for about another week, get up with me," I say as he's heading towards the door.

  I smile and shake my head. The wild one has finally been tamed. I finish my beer and glance at the clock. Its eleven o'clock and I've got to work in the morning, so I head to the house. It's only about a quarter mile so I figure I'll just walk home. I worked too hard to get to where I am to get a DUI. The evening air is cool and crisp and sobers me up almost instantly. I get to the house and Carlie’s car is still gone. My mom is sitting by the front window the way she always did when I was a teenager. I walk through the front door and she looks at me funny.

  "You’re home early, sweetheart," she says incredulously.

  I snicker at the look she’s giving me, "Mom, I’m not a teenager anymore, besides, six comes early in the morning.”

  She just shakes her head. "I'm so proud of you, son."

  "Thanks," I say leaning down to hug her.

  "I love you, goodnight," she says, kissing my cheek.

  I head down the hallway to my room, kick my shoes off and crawl into bed. It's about two in the morning when a thump and a form of laughter wakes me. Carlie comes stumbling over to the bed, nearly tripping over my shoes. She crawls into bed beside me and the smell of stale cigarettes and booze overwhelm my senses.

  "Carlie?" I ask.

  "Yeah, it's me," she says laughing.

  "I'm not trying to be mean, but could you at least change your clothes and brush your teeth? The smell is pretty potent."

  She groans, "Okay," and grumbles all the way to the bathroom. I fall back to sleep and I am once again awoken by her. She snuggles up to me, licking my neck.

  "Hey, please stop," I ask groggily.

  "What? I don't turn you on anymore?" she asks angrily.

  I groan loudly, "Carlie, you know you do. I've got to go to work in a few hours and you're wasted."

  "Asshole," she mumbles, turning away from me. I just sigh and close my eyes.

  When the alarm clock goes off, I'm still exhausted. I get up, shower, and get dressed. I look over to Carlie, still passed out on the bed. Even with her hair a mess and last night’s makeup smeared, she's still beautiful. I walk over and kiss her lightly before leaving.

  The walk to my truck is invigorating; the chilly air blowing in my face helps me focus through the exhaustion. I get to work and meet with my mentor, Dr. Iverson; he was my pediatrician as a child. The incessant humming of the equipment and constant paging are wearing on my nerves. After today, I've got a couple days off and I’m definitely going to need them. From a car accident to a kid with a broken arm, the day flies by.

  It's just after dark when I start to leave and realize I've left my keys in my locker. "Damn it," I mumble under my breath as I head back inside to my locker, quickly grabbing my keys and heading back to the truck. A deep sigh passes my lips as I sink into the seat. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I look, and it's a text from Carlie:

  Hey Babe, I'm sorry about last night. I'll see you when you get home.

  I just shake my head. She never has been able to hold her liquor and she is so rude and obnoxious when she's drunk. I put the truck in reverse and leave the parking lot. The drive home is peaceful; no radio, pager, or phone. I pull into the driveway and Carlie is on the front porch swing waiting. She smiles that sexy smile at me when I reach the top step. I collapse on the swing beside her and she begins rubbing my arm. Leaning in to kiss her, I catch a hint of her perfume, the subtle smell is intoxicating. I kiss her softly and her lips become hungry against mine.

  "Whoa baby, take it easy," I say in a groan.

  She smiles a devilish smile when she pulls away. She stands and takes my hand, pulling me into the house. "You're parents went out to dinner," she says leading me down the hallway to our room.

  I press her up against the door, bringing my lips to hers again. The taste of her mouth is a sweet mixture of mint and wine. She moans into my mouth as my tongue slips between her lips. I pull away breathless and open the door. I pick her up and carry her to the bed. She giggles as I crash down on top her. The sweet smell of her perfume and the softness of her skin is a dangerous mixture.

  ~~~~~

  A soft knock on the door wakes me up. I look over at the clock and its four o'clock in the morning. "Yeah?" I ask hoarsely.

  "The hospital just called and said they need you," my mother says.

  Why didn't they call or page me? I look at my phone and it's dead. "Thanks Mom, I'm up. I'll call them when I'm on my way," I reply and plug my phone in.

  "Brandon, I'm sorry I had to wake you up, but I know how much this job means to you," she says.

  Her footsteps disappear down the hallway as I stretch. I lean over, kissing Carlie on the cheek. "Baby, I got called into work," I whisper. She nods barely opening her eyes. I shower and dress quickly, grabbing my phone as I walk out of the door. I look back at her and smile.

  "Bran," she says sleepily.

  "Yeah, baby?"

  "I love you."

  "I love you, too," I say closing the door behind me.

  I rush out to the kitchen, stopping only for a moment to hug my mother. "Have a good day," she says. I nod, grabbing my keys.

  I call Dr. Iverson once I'm on the road. "Hey, what's going on?"

  "Dr. Simons' wife went into preterm labor so she's been sent via helicopter to a better equipped hospital in Pensacola."

  "Damn, that's not good. I hope everyone will be okay."

  "Yeah, me too; sorry to have to call you in but we were short as it is," Dr. Iverson replied.

  "It’s okay, man. I'll be there shortly."

  "Alright, see ya later."

  I hang up the phone with a heavy heart. Raina, Dr. Simmons wife, graduated a year after me. I try to focus the haze that has settled in my mind when I turn into the parking lot. It’s going to be a long day. I get inside, start all my paperwork, and prepare for my rounds.

  Jasmine

  When I met Jeff, he was perfect. He was my knight in shining armor, whisking me away from the poverty I was accustomed to. He was successful, gorgeous, and treated me like a queen. My home was beautiful and I had everything I'd always dreamt of. My past had been put behind me and I had overcome so much fear.

  After about a year, everything began to change. He became possessive and suspicious of everything. He began drinking heavily and cheating on me. I kept saying that I was going to leave, but then he always said he loved me and I believed him. He's my first love and I do love him. "Jasmine, get your fine little ass in here this instant!" he screams at me from the bedroom. I cringe at the thought. I glance down at the thin gold engagement ring on my left hand. He's drunk again and I know what he wants, but he won't get it, not like this; not when he is drunk. "Jasmine, you bitch, you had better listen to me!" he snarls when I don't answer.

  "I'll be there in a minute," I reply, preparing for what's coming.

  I walk through the door and the nausea almost consumes me. I walk over to the bed and sit down. He begins rubbing all over me and I let him. I don't know fully what he's capable of, so I don't push it. The smell and taste of whiskey and cigarettes is sickening as he forces his lips on mine. I lay there like a ragdoll, allowing him to touch me until he tries to force himself upon me. "No!" I scream when he tries to remove my clothes.

  He reaches up and slaps me across my face. "Bitch, you will give in to me!" he says gripping my shirt, causing the buttons to pop off.

  I lock my legs together as he fondles my breasts. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, increasing with each touch. He brings his face up to mine again, roughly kissing me.

  "Why you crying, bitch!” he screams, seeing my saturated face.

  I just shake my head and he jumps up off the bed, grabbing his belt. A sudden wave of fear washes over me when I see him coming towards me. I slide off the bed quickly and cower in the corner, covering my eyes with my hands as he starts swinging it ar
ound, knocking things off the wall. The metal buckle smacks my cheek, leaving me sobbing and he stops immediately. Throwing the belt across the room he kneels down to me, placing his hands on either side of my face.

  "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," he says kissing my cheek and pulling me into him. He scoops me up into his arms and lays me on the bed gently, as though I'm made of glass.

  Chapter Four: Unexpected Circumstances

  "Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays, but never lose sight of your goal. Prepare yourself in every way you can by increasing your knowledge and adding to your experience, so that you can make the most of opportunity when it occurs."- Mario Andretti

  Jasmine

  Lying there, wrapped up in his arms, makes me nauseous, the smell of booze is strong and sour. My violent sobs fall upon deaf ears as I lay there afraid to move. Slowly, I get the courage to move, so I pick up his now limp arm and scoot away from him, carefully. Looking back as I walk to the bathroom I wonder how my life came to this. My reflection in the mirror reveals a small circular bruise on my cheek. I can feel the tears falling from my eyes as I wipe my face with a bath cloth. The physical pain is minimal, but the emotional pain and fear is overwhelming.

  Shaking off a deep feeling of regret, I jump in the shower, figuring out what to say when someone asks about the bruise on my cheek. Stepping out of the shower brings me back to reality. I dress quickly and dry my hair. I grab my makeup bag and quietly make my way out of the bedroom door. Looking back at Jeff, laying there passed out, brings on an uncontrollable wave of nausea.